My brother and I asked our dearest friend Rosemary Thomas to deliver a eulogy for Mom. While Rosemary and I have shared a very special relationship for many years, she and Mom also became very close. Mom considered her one of her own. The following are the beautiful words Rosemary dedicated to Mom.
"And so it goes…who would have imagined we would be here at this point in time to say farewell to Justine. If ever we needed a reminder that time is precious – this is it.
Glenna Justine Hines Mainella started her life’s journey in the hills of central West Virginia in a place we call Webster Springs. After graduating from high school, she made her way to Fairmont – discovering what would become her new home and home for the next 50 years.
Don’t you know that she brought with her that caring nature and kindness that we all came to know and love through the years. And don’t you know that her strong work ethic and fun-loving spirit helped shape her circle of friends immediately.
If you knew and witnessed Justine and Vonda together, I am sure I am not the only one convinced they could have been the inspiration for Lucy & Ethel and probably were Laverne & Shirley too. We have all witnessed the embodiment of “soul mates” just by watching these two women co-exist for 50 years – as roommates, working together, raising children together, never living more than a mile a part…and talking and sharing a part of every single day.
Vonda reminded me on Monday evening that Justine took care of the world, she was so good hearted she was such a good woman.
There are so many questions surrounding how we got to this point but to seek answers would only limit our ability to share memories, to reflect on what she meant to us, to celebrate the life of this kind, thoughtful caring woman.
Displayed prominently in Justine’s living room, I found a small plaque which says so much about how she lived everyday. The words of the Serenity Prayer are these:
God, grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.
Not only did Justine live these words, she taught her boys to live by them as well.
David and John, you both must know that you are surrounded by the loving hearts and arms of so many. We are here with you because we love her too and we will be here, we will be with you in Michigan and Indiana long after today.
We will not forget this special lady who never forgot a birthday, never accepted “I’m not hungry” as an appropriate response to “What can I get you to eat”, never missed a chance to brag about her boys, never failed to provide a voice of reason for her girl, never forgot to be a great friend, never left without sharing a smile and NEVER stopped loving Izzy from the moment they met and fell in love.
Yes, Justine was giving and thoughtful. She could also be a little bit stubborn…in case you didn’t know. John and David, let’s just say it doesn’t appear that those attributes, (including the stubbornness) skipped a generation. Both of you dug you heels in these past difficult days and you were determined to do one thing, and one thing only…you did exactly what you mother wanted.
As we think of the words to Country Roads, it’s not at all difficult to envision Justine and her life’s journey that literally touched us all somewhere along the way…
Almost Heaven, West Virginia – her love for this place made for lots of memorable Sunday afternoon car rides to the Falls and the Farm and special vacations to places like Cass Railroad, Dolly Sods, Coopers Rock, Seneca Rocks and more.
She and Izzy welcomed family and friends to come share special times in their home among the hills, and they made sure that no matter how far away life took their boys through service to our country, learning, and professional careers – country roads would always bring them back home safely.
Justine Mainella will always be remembered as a loving mother, a devoted wife, a priceless friend, a wonderful daughter and sister, a very special grandma and so much more…
Cookies, lasagna, freettis, ham, Jell-O salad creations, sauce and meatballs…and that’s just what she made for John on a weekend…she did loved to cook! Lucky for her we were all so polite that we would never dream of not eating…and usually licking the plate because it was so delicious.
Yes Vonda, you were right, Justine took care of the world. Her time here on earth ended far too soon for us, but we need to remember God has a different plan for his newest angel.
Together we need to embrace the words of the Serenity Prayer and accept that this path was not meant to be changed…but let’s think of all the courage she had and honor her memory by supporting David, John, Vonda and their families and know that we can shape how we approach the future.
Justine knew the difference between what she could and could not change. She made the most of life, she wanted the most out of life for her boys, she shared her life with the love of her life, she valued quality of life and we all know our lives were made better – just because we knew her.
We love you Justine!"
Presented by Rosemary M. Thomas
In loving memory of Justine Mainella May 21, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The conversation begins again
I can hardly believe it has been three months since my last post. Quite a lot has happened to me in these past few months and I promise to catch up over the next few days. I have a lot to say—to my friends, my past, my present, my future, and to myself.
At some point in our lives, everything seems to come together. At least for a minute.
We find the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect restaurant, car, pair of jeans, music, the perfect lots of things. We take a chance on all of these things. What is it about us that makes us take that chance and why do we keep taking them? Is it the passion behind taking the chance that makes us keep coming back for more?
There is something dangerously intriguing about taking a chance. Will the job work out? Will the car still run in a year? Will the jeans always fit the way they do in the fitting room? Will we end up with a broken heart? With each of these questions, we find an answer, good or bad.
And yet we do keep coming back for more. But that is what is so magical about the chance. Even if things don’t always go as planned, we pull up our big girl panties and start looking for the next adventure. For all of the bad, the good is still so sweet. Perhaps that is why we keep taking chances.
At some point in our lives, everything seems to come together. At least for a minute.
We find the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect restaurant, car, pair of jeans, music, the perfect lots of things. We take a chance on all of these things. What is it about us that makes us take that chance and why do we keep taking them? Is it the passion behind taking the chance that makes us keep coming back for more?
There is something dangerously intriguing about taking a chance. Will the job work out? Will the car still run in a year? Will the jeans always fit the way they do in the fitting room? Will we end up with a broken heart? With each of these questions, we find an answer, good or bad.
And yet we do keep coming back for more. But that is what is so magical about the chance. Even if things don’t always go as planned, we pull up our big girl panties and start looking for the next adventure. For all of the bad, the good is still so sweet. Perhaps that is why we keep taking chances.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
What's in a number?!?
When I originally started thinking about this posting, I had just been a part of three conversations on age and maturity. But, I knew that something was telling me to write when yesterday and today at lunch, I had two more conversations about turning 30 and the feelings around it. The first conversation was at home at Christmas with some friends; the second was with another friend at New Years; the third was this same friend’s blog I read (not a real conversation, but close enough); then yesterday’s and today’s were with two different donor friends of mine.
I guess turning 30 for me was never a big deal. After all, it was just another year. And, let’s face it--I was ready to be done with my 20s. While I had a lot of fun and lots of great memories, there was something about turning 30 that made me feel like I was starting over. Maybe I have finally arrived.
Finding someone to share these “glory days” with me has always been a challenge. I am very particular about what I am looking for in a relationship, even in my friendships. There is both a degree of intellect and smart that I want in a partner. I want someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation and is passionate about something (anything), but I also want someone who can walk into a social situation, carry themselves well, hold their own in a crowd, and not look like a fool. And I’ve met plenty of people who are one or the other, but very few who are both. The one’s who are both are usually taken or out-of-reach. The most common denominators I have found are that most of these people are at least 30, very close to it, or have shared many of the similar life experiences that I and my friends have shared. One of my donor friends was very candid and adamant in his belief that for gay men, true relationships don’t start until you are 30.
Can we truly find both of these traits in a person and package them with good looks, a love of good food and wine, and a need to travel? Or am I being too high maintenance? Is my friend right in saying that we should just throw caution to the wind, sleep our way through our 20s, and then settle down when we finally turn 30?
I’m not sure what the right answer is, but I do know that I am not willing to compromise anything that I want in a partner—in a friend. Sure, there will always be some give and take, but maybe that should be reserved for choosing bottles of wine, restaurants, and life in the bedroom.
All joking aside, no one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it. And having been through 30 years of this business, I want it to be really worth it!
Be well, friends, and here’s to having arrived!
I guess turning 30 for me was never a big deal. After all, it was just another year. And, let’s face it--I was ready to be done with my 20s. While I had a lot of fun and lots of great memories, there was something about turning 30 that made me feel like I was starting over. Maybe I have finally arrived.
Finding someone to share these “glory days” with me has always been a challenge. I am very particular about what I am looking for in a relationship, even in my friendships. There is both a degree of intellect and smart that I want in a partner. I want someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation and is passionate about something (anything), but I also want someone who can walk into a social situation, carry themselves well, hold their own in a crowd, and not look like a fool. And I’ve met plenty of people who are one or the other, but very few who are both. The one’s who are both are usually taken or out-of-reach. The most common denominators I have found are that most of these people are at least 30, very close to it, or have shared many of the similar life experiences that I and my friends have shared. One of my donor friends was very candid and adamant in his belief that for gay men, true relationships don’t start until you are 30.
Can we truly find both of these traits in a person and package them with good looks, a love of good food and wine, and a need to travel? Or am I being too high maintenance? Is my friend right in saying that we should just throw caution to the wind, sleep our way through our 20s, and then settle down when we finally turn 30?
I’m not sure what the right answer is, but I do know that I am not willing to compromise anything that I want in a partner—in a friend. Sure, there will always be some give and take, but maybe that should be reserved for choosing bottles of wine, restaurants, and life in the bedroom.
All joking aside, no one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it. And having been through 30 years of this business, I want it to be really worth it!
Be well, friends, and here’s to having arrived!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
New Obsession Acquired!
After days of searching, I finally found and purchased my new obsession...
...the black, cashmere hoodie!
(OK, so it is grey here, but you get the picture.)
Yes, I know, I am ridiculous, but Nordstrom had it on sale for a steal and I bought the last black one they had. Now where is that UPS man with my package? I'll leave you to think about that one...
...the black, cashmere hoodie!
(OK, so it is grey here, but you get the picture.)
Yes, I know, I am ridiculous, but Nordstrom had it on sale for a steal and I bought the last black one they had. Now where is that UPS man with my package? I'll leave you to think about that one...
Friday, January 4, 2008
Don't let the door hit you...
We knew it was coming. We knew he would leave. Whether it was this year or next, Rodriguez was headed out the door. He is only 44 years old and has a career to continue to build. The administration was foolish to think he would stay for six more years. Besides, we saw with Don Nehlen what happens when someone overextends their stay.
Yes, we are loyal. Yes, we are vocal. Yes, we are fanatics. But, we are also Mountaineers and so is Coach Stewart. Let’s forget Rod and wrap our blue and gold arms around our new coach. Stew deserves all the respect and admiration that the nation’s top coaches receive. He didn’t let the boys forget that they are a team. And on Wednesday night, that was proven.
It’s time to heal. And I think the Fiesta Bowl win has sped up that process!
Be well, friends, and see you in the stands next season!
Yes, we are loyal. Yes, we are vocal. Yes, we are fanatics. But, we are also Mountaineers and so is Coach Stewart. Let’s forget Rod and wrap our blue and gold arms around our new coach. Stew deserves all the respect and admiration that the nation’s top coaches receive. He didn’t let the boys forget that they are a team. And on Wednesday night, that was proven.
It’s time to heal. And I think the Fiesta Bowl win has sped up that process!
Be well, friends, and see you in the stands next season!
Unexpected Surprises
Life is full of unexpected surprises. This holiday season was no exception.
Take for instance the fantastic presents my friend Rosemary and I exchanged. There was my long anticipated Seagull Century long sleeved t-shirt that I always look forward to receiving at Christmas. The most intriguing gifts kept pace with our increasingly ridiculous attempt to trick the other: a porcelain Jesus from Ro to me and a calendar of silly nun antics from me to her. I will have to explain the meaning behind this to you later.
Having my brother come home to WV the day after Christmas was an awesome surprise. Seeing my Dad on Christmas day and the fact that he knew who I was brought more smiles and even some tears. Dinner at my aunts is always wonderful and even more so this year. My neighbor’s onion bread and spice cake were the perfect end to a great Christmas Day.
Seeing Cindy and Ben, if only for a couple of hours, was just wonderful.
Lunch with Diane, Jason, and Mario kept us entertained for several hours. Going out with Colleen and Amanda and JR gave me a little reprieve from all that the last year has dumped on my family. Dinner with Mario the next night was fun and the conversation and events of the evening were unexpected, long overdue, but really quite nice.
Having an unexpected visitor for New Years and a few days after completely caught me off guard, but made for an excellent intro to 2008. Call it surreal and call it crazy considering the 10 hour drive he had to make yesterday, but it worked. And I kind of liked it.
New Years Eve with the gang was fun, as expected, but in true form, it was very random and interesting. Watching the married couple try to get one of the other girls to go home with them was very unexpected, but was cause for lots of raised eyebrows and laughter.
Going back to work and getting a little gift from my coworker’s trip to Texas extended holiday cheer into the new year. And a last minute invitation to drinks with old friends last night kept the mood sweet.
Be well, friends, and may 2008 bring lots of unexpected and pleasant surprises!
Take for instance the fantastic presents my friend Rosemary and I exchanged. There was my long anticipated Seagull Century long sleeved t-shirt that I always look forward to receiving at Christmas. The most intriguing gifts kept pace with our increasingly ridiculous attempt to trick the other: a porcelain Jesus from Ro to me and a calendar of silly nun antics from me to her. I will have to explain the meaning behind this to you later.
Having my brother come home to WV the day after Christmas was an awesome surprise. Seeing my Dad on Christmas day and the fact that he knew who I was brought more smiles and even some tears. Dinner at my aunts is always wonderful and even more so this year. My neighbor’s onion bread and spice cake were the perfect end to a great Christmas Day.
Seeing Cindy and Ben, if only for a couple of hours, was just wonderful.
Lunch with Diane, Jason, and Mario kept us entertained for several hours. Going out with Colleen and Amanda and JR gave me a little reprieve from all that the last year has dumped on my family. Dinner with Mario the next night was fun and the conversation and events of the evening were unexpected, long overdue, but really quite nice.
Having an unexpected visitor for New Years and a few days after completely caught me off guard, but made for an excellent intro to 2008. Call it surreal and call it crazy considering the 10 hour drive he had to make yesterday, but it worked. And I kind of liked it.
New Years Eve with the gang was fun, as expected, but in true form, it was very random and interesting. Watching the married couple try to get one of the other girls to go home with them was very unexpected, but was cause for lots of raised eyebrows and laughter.
Going back to work and getting a little gift from my coworker’s trip to Texas extended holiday cheer into the new year. And a last minute invitation to drinks with old friends last night kept the mood sweet.
Be well, friends, and may 2008 bring lots of unexpected and pleasant surprises!
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