What's in a number?!?

When I originally started thinking about this posting, I had just been a part of three conversations on age and maturity. But, I knew that something was telling me to write when yesterday and today at lunch, I had two more conversations about turning 30 and the feelings around it. The first conversation was at home at Christmas with some friends; the second was with another friend at New Years; the third was this same friend’s blog I read (not a real conversation, but close enough); then yesterday’s and today’s were with two different donor friends of mine.

I guess turning 30 for me was never a big deal. After all, it was just another year. And, let’s face it--I was ready to be done with my 20s. While I had a lot of fun and lots of great memories, there was something about turning 30 that made me feel like I was starting over. Maybe I have finally arrived.

Finding someone to share these “glory days” with me has always been a challenge. I am very particular about what I am looking for in a relationship, even in my friendships. There is both a degree of intellect and smart that I want in a partner. I want someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation and is passionate about something (anything), but I also want someone who can walk into a social situation, carry themselves well, hold their own in a crowd, and not look like a fool. And I’ve met plenty of people who are one or the other, but very few who are both. The one’s who are both are usually taken or out-of-reach. The most common denominators I have found are that most of these people are at least 30, very close to it, or have shared many of the similar life experiences that I and my friends have shared. One of my donor friends was very candid and adamant in his belief that for gay men, true relationships don’t start until you are 30.

Can we truly find both of these traits in a person and package them with good looks, a love of good food and wine, and a need to travel? Or am I being too high maintenance? Is my friend right in saying that we should just throw caution to the wind, sleep our way through our 20s, and then settle down when we finally turn 30?

I’m not sure what the right answer is, but I do know that I am not willing to compromise anything that I want in a partner—in a friend. Sure, there will always be some give and take, but maybe that should be reserved for choosing bottles of wine, restaurants, and life in the bedroom.

All joking aside, no one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it. And having been through 30 years of this business, I want it to be really worth it!

Be well, friends, and here’s to having arrived!